


if you want, the pleasure’s all mine

by RedLights



Series: The Rise of The Space Husbands [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Changing Tenses, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Poe Dameron Is A Mess, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Slow Burn, Songfic, clairo made me do it, finn - Freeform, not beta read we die like men, song: bags, sorry i’ll fix that eventually, thank you oscar isaac for giving me my rights
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:28:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22324816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedLights/pseuds/RedLights
Summary: Finn and Poe after the Resistance wins, inspired by Bags by Clairo.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Series: The Rise of The Space Husbands [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615561
Kudos: 22





	if you want, the pleasure’s all mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> every second counts, i don’t wanna talk to you anymore, and / all these little games, you can call me by the name i gave you yesterday

The conditioning still flickered on, now and then - Poe could see it when it did, like a strange shadow behind Finn’s pupils. Without the adrenaline of immediate danger, when there was the imminently complicated reality of day to day life as a free person to contend with, it wasn’t always easy to keep his grip.  Finn realized quickly enough how to sort out basic facts: the truth was usually the opposite of whatever the Order had told him, so he worked from there. But there are things that run deeper than that, not thoughts but  ways of thinking , that aren’t so easy to unlearn. That was slow going, and Finn wasn’t sure he’d ever be finished figuring it out. 

Poe helped.When they weren’t busy or away on missions, Poe was with him. Finn figured out the size and shape of free, human, normal-ish life from his vantage point at Poe’s side. At first they looked for each other in the mornings, found each other whenever they had a free moment. Then it became a reflex, and Poe and Finn found each other by muscle memory. They just sort of ended up that way naturally, sharing every meal and a casual intimacy that still threw Finn for a loop sometimes. Poe’s calloused hand finds Finn’s neck to guide him towards the right hallway; Finn’s arm gets slung around Poe’s waist, Poe’s fingers intertwine with his, there’s a thousand and one touches every day that might mean anything or absolutely nothing.

It’s a peculiar little game they play with each other, without knowing it. Finn will lay his head in Poe’s lap as Poe goes on at length about some maneuver he’d pulled off, enjoying Poe’s voice more than listening to his words. Poe will scratch Finn’s scalp soothingly with his fingernails and pretend the resulting hum of contentment reverberating from Finn’s chest doesn’t make him feel warm and fuzzy inside. Finn pretends Poe’s touch doesn’t send a pleasant shiver through his body, and tries to concentrate on the words instead of imagining Poe’s mouth forming them. 

Poe talks him through the rough moments, even though they’ve never acknowledged it. But when Poe notices Finn panicking at something he doesn’t know or hadn’t finished unlearning, he’d grab him or catch his eye and launch into some grand tale to bring Finn back. Finn would settle back into himself, into  _ Finn _ , listening to a highly editorialized story from Poe’s youth. He knew a lot about Poe now, and he found he wanted to know more. He’d happily hear every story Poe has to tell, even the embarrassing ones, especially the silly, small ones.

Poe would happily tell him. He does love a captive audience, and Finn is probably the world’s best listener, with his eagerness to learn anything and everything, and his unerring honesty. Finn is honest like it’s never occurred to him not to be, reacts to the world exactly as he sees it without temperance or pretense. And yeah, Finn had told him about his little deceptions when he’d tried to escape, but what Poe took away from that story was 1) that Finn had a healthier sense of self-preservation than anyone else here and 2) that Rose Tico was a badass and he really needed to get to know her. He couldn’t blame Finn for being scared, for wanting to run. He knows Finn blames himself, and maybe a younger Poe would too, the Poe who had never failed on a mission or had reason to question whether this was what he wanted to do with his life. But Poe knows everything about Finn now, he’s pretty sure, and either the wisdom of experience or (more likely) the fact that he feels something huge and terrifying for Finn makes him forgive anything before Finn’s even done it. 

Base life between averted apocalypses has always been pretty decent, in Poe’s professional opinion, but with Finn there it’s stellar. If there’s not enough flying to do and he goes stir-crazy, he focuses on making Finn laugh, or teaches him something new for the pleasure of hearing his delighted chuckles when he inevitably succeeds at it. Finn gives as good as he gets, elbowing Poe to whisper a funny observation during a briefing or joking with Jess and Rose at lunchtime, usually cracking Poe up. Poe laughs  a lot now, even for him. It’s the only way he can get the feeling out, the jumble of Finn-related emotions running through him at all times. If he didn’t laugh and joke, he’d probably scream, or cry, or drop to his knees and beg for Finn’s hand, and none of those are viable options. Not when there’s a bedraggled fleet relying on his relative sanity, and especially not when the locus of all those feelings is a gorgeous twenty-something ex-Stormtrooper who’s got plenty to sort through without Poe corrupting him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so when you take bags by clairo, which references joni mitchell and call me by your name, and make it about finnpoe in your head, it’s like a quadruple threat of gayness. how could i resist?
> 
> sorry this is just an intro chapter! three-ish chapters with more going on are on the way.


End file.
